All right. Good morning, class. Welcome back to another day of online school. I hope you are all doing well. Let’s get started. Today in our unit on the history of Montclair, we will be talking about Anderson Park. Wait, before we start, um, Jason, can you please turn on your camera? It’s required to have it on. EARTH TO JASON. Please turn your camera on. JASON.
*SIGH* Okay, then.
“I AM IN ANDERSON PARK RIGHT NOW.”
Okay, um, Eric, that is great, but you cannot be running around during class.
“YEAH, WELL, MY MOM SAID I NEED TO BE OUTSIDE MORE BECAUSE I AM JUST SITTING AT MY COMPUTER ALL DAY LONG.”
Oh, Felicia, can you please adjust your screen so we can see you and not your forehead? Oh, dear, that’s too much. Can you adjust it so we can’t just see your mouth? We want to see your whole face. Maybe move your screen back a little? It’s fine. We’ll figure it out later.
All right, class. Seems like we can finally get started. Anderson Park is our 15-acre park in the heart of uptown Montclair.
Earl, son? You’re unmuted. Why are you watching TV? It’s not even the most boring part of my class yet!
Diya, are you on your phone? Get off. I don’t care who you are texting, not in my class.
Charles, I can tell you are on Minecraft. It does not matter if it is a building competition or a kingdom. Get off Minecraft!
Ugh, Mia, please, would you get out of bed? We are literally in class right now. You can’t be sleeping in my class or any class! Get out of bed and find a desk.
Yes, Gabriel, you have a question.
“I could not do the homework because I had to visit my grandma, and she has the worst WiFi ever.”
*SIGH* The homework was to draw a map of Montclair.
“Yeah, well, um, well, I uhh”
It is fine, Gabriel… just… it is fine.
Sean? What is that? You can’t hear me? Oh. Uhhh, have you tried reloading the Zoom page? You can’t reload Zoom? Oh. How about you try to leave and rejoin? Okay?
As I was saying, the Olmsted Brothers designed Anderson Park. Oh no. Geena, it looks like you’re frozen. Are you frozen? You’re frozen.
AHH, MUTE YOUR MIC, DEAR. MY EARS. PLEASE. TURN. OFF. YOUR. MICROPHONE. Thank you.
Class, please stop texting in the chat. You know I can see and read it too.
Moving on — oh, what a pleasant surprise! Everyone, look here! My cat, Sushi, has decided to join our lesson. She wants to tell you about Anderson Park and how it got its name. But, let me move her away from the screen so we can get to class.
I know guys, I realize we have been doing this for months now, but we only gotta hang in for a little longer. And yes, it’s been challenging and extraordinarily frustrating, but I believe that we can do it, so let’s go with it — only a little longer, guys. We’ll be in school soon enough.
“Class ended five minutes ago. Can we go?”
Yes, *SIGH* you can go. Bye. We will learn about Anderson Park, next class.